MISEDUCATION #13: SINGLE & the CITY.

The most painful way of inhumane torture cannot be experienced behind the bars of Munti, or by joining a fraternity group and get paddled by a baseball bat 250 times as a welcome remark, nor get captured by the terrorist who will make u eat fresh raw cave bat meat for a meal, while you serve as “dinner” for those group of big time bloodsucking forest mosquitos.

If you are single, and you are 29… torture comes as easy as 123.- Tumayo ka lang sa gitna ng Luneta mag-isa habang napapalibutan ka ng mga naglalampungang lovers na nagkalat sa park ground.- na mapapatingin sayo kasi kanina ka pa nanonood. And in the next couple of seconds.. they will avoid you kasi naiilang na sayo. Do you even know what it feels like?

In my case, I don’t have to do it. Living in Makati and have something to remind me everyday that I am still “single” is enough. In fact, I get reminded -ALL- the time. I get reminded everytime I ride the jeep and see this nice looking couple unabashingly smooching infront of me.  I get reminded in a movie house by those sexy noises at the back row.  I get reminded by these young students-slash-couples on the next table  while i’m supposed to be enjoying my Ziti in Sbarro. I often get distracted from reading my favorite book by the laughs of these lovers walking in front of me pag nag-a unwind ako sa baywalk sa likod ng MOA. I get reminded by John Lloyd & Bea during commercial break. Sa mga nasasalubong kong WWHH (walking while holding hands) sa mall. I get reminded everytime I see my crush sa office-yakap ang syota niya. I got people sa Church asking who I’m getting married to & always get caught off guard, struggling for words to say that I don’t even have a partner.   Sa e-mails (filipino friendfinder). Sa wedding invitations… sa friendster bulletin, sa mga chismosa sa labas, sa status ko sa resume, sa kapatid kong may asawa, etc. in other words,-It’s everywhere!

Being single living in a big city is like walking inside a big crowd with a big red X mark.

Certain situations & people tends to make you feel like you are different if you are single. They make you feel something is wrong with you. And the worst part is, they always struck you with this stunning question: “BAKIT SINGLE KA PA?” and will make you feel you are obliged to answer it, and they won’t buy your  alibis answers after answering them and makes you feel you are trying explaining your side to them “why you are still single” and they’ll just roll their eyes with a talk-to-my-hands gesture…-this is so inhumane!-it’s like you don’t even have the right to be single! This question can really make you storm out and get pissed off the whole day. Apparently, this question put me on a reality check.

Most single people find a defense mechanism to make them appear they are just fine being single. Men put on Lacoste,  wear blingblings or get the coolest gadget to outshine the shadow of being single. While women wear the highest high heels and walk along with her single friends to lift up their pride and hide the truth about being single. Some hide it in front of the computer and work to death and for some , by burying their face on a book to cover their dying self esteem.

And before I start to lose my own, I tried to observe this couple on a bus one day. I, looking on both of them, -hindi naman sa pagbubuhat ng monoblock chair- can say na hindi naman pala ako ang pinakapanget na tao sa buong mundo. I can be funny and smart and all that—yet, this won’t suffice to satisfy  the question if it struck me again  why I am still single.

I come to think: In this culture, why do we tend to see single people in a different way? Why do we tend to think there is something wrong when people is not in a relationship?  Do you have to have a special one just to make you feel you belong? or is it really that bad to be single? 

on the other hand:

Have you ever thought about what will happen if there is NO SINGLE in the world?

Who’s gonna comfort you when you have a fight with your bf/gf then? Who’s got the time to shop with you and be your critic picking a dress?  Who’s gonna spend the rest of the night over the fone with you hearing your ails till morning? Who else will give you a joyride to Tagaytay if you feel suffocated at home?  Who’s gonna crack some jokes till your stomache aches after your partner broke your heart ? Who’s gonna remember your birthday ? (-Nell?)  Who’s gonna throw a party in their house where you can eventually find your soulmate? (-Nell uli?) 0 Who’s gonna babysit for if you have a couple’s night to attend?  Who can you give your date to if you don’t like it? Who’s gonna spend time with you if you are also single? In times you badly need someone- who’s the most available?—– ang mga may partner? o ang mga SINGLE?

The stigmatized, branded, pitied single -with a big X mark – people are scattered in the society for a reason.They are special type of human status that could be the most useful and available that most people often tend to overlook.There will come a time that you will need a single person. Wether you need a company, or some comfort, or some fun, or to have someone to hang out with… single people is the solution.

...EVEN IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PARTNER THAT YOU NEED FOR A LIFETIME. ( alangan naman mag hanap ka ng may sabit, diba?)

To all the single people in the world, -the world NEEDS YOU.

So if by chance, you are single, and someone is asking you “why you are still single”… wala nang paliwanagan.

You already know why.

~ ni themiseducationofzapped sa Agosto 25, 2008.